Rhapsody watched silently through the window of the hospital room.
Inside, a man was sitting at the bedside of a woman, holding her hand. They
were married. They had a little girl—she was sitting in the hallway with her
grandparents. The woman was sick and they all knew that she didn’t have much
longer.
Her name was Lauren and she had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. It started as a lump
on her neck. She underwent chemotherapy and it seemed to be working pretty well.
But no matter how much the tumor was shrunk through radiation, it kept coming
back. She’d been battling it for the past three years and within that time period, the
cancer spread. It was a mere five months ago that her doctor told her that there was nothing more they could do.
Lauren’s husband, Nick, wouldn’t take no for an answer, though. He brought her to several highly respected doctors to get second opinions. Unfortunately, after
examining Lauren, they all said the same thing—she was going to die.
Lauren adjusted to the news a lot quicker than the rest of her family did. Granted, it wasn’t an immediate thing. But she did come to terms with it sooner than everyone
else.
The person that it had been the hardest to tell was Nick’s and her daughter, Aislyn.
She was only five years old. It was difficult for her to understand that mommy was
sick and wasn’t going to get better.
Rhapsody sighed. Being Lauren’s guardian angel hadn’t been easy.
Inside the hospital room…
Lauren looked up at Nick as he held her hand in between both of his,
“I love you…so much…” she whispered.
Nick sadly looked back down at her,
“I love you too.”
She smiled, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”
He joined in,
“Is just to love and be loved in return,” he shook his head, “I never got why you
liked that movie so much.”
“Aw come on, we’re just like those characters.”
“We’re French whores from the Bohemian revolution?” he asked incredulously.
Lauren giggled,
“Noooo…the movie’s about a writer and an entertainer who fall in love. How
perfectly does that suit us?”
“Oh, I get it now, I’m the whore,” Nick teased.
She rolled her eyes,
“You know what I mean. The writer was too idealistic, the entertainer maybe
entertained too much…”
His face soured,
“The ending is different though,” his adam’s apple moved up and down and he drew
his breath in sharply, “In the movie, the writer doesn’t…” he didn’t finish the
sentence because he was too choked up.
“Oh honey,” she gently laid her hand on his cheek, then put her arms around him as
he cried into her shoulder.
After a few seconds, Lauren started singing,
“Come what may…come what may. I will love you, until-”
Nick sat up before she could sing ‘my dying day,’
“Don’t finish that line,” he said fiercely.
“Nick, it’s our song.”
“Yeah well, it wasn’t supposed to be so symbolic,” he glared.
“Why can’t you just accept this?”
“Accept this?” his eyes widened, “Accept that my wife is dying? That I could wake
up tomorrow and you might not be there?” he stood up and walked around the room, trying to calm himself down,
“It’s like what I wrote in your song,” he said shakily, “You’re everything I am.
People say that when you lose someone, you can grieve, but you should carry on
with your life…how am I supposed to carry on with my life and you ARE my life?
Y-You can’t leave me” he crouched over on the floor.
Lauren achingly eased herself out of bed and sat down on the floor next to him,
“But I won’t leave you. I’ll always be right here,” she patted his heart.
Nick placed his hand over her’s, but didn’t say anything.
For a moment, they were both silent.
“Nick, you have to promise me something,” she said softly.
He looked over at her cautiously,
“What?”
“You have to promise me that once I’m gone, you can’t make this the cornerstone of
your life. Don’t build a wall around yourself that’s so high that you can’t see over
it.”
“Laur…” Nick whined.
“No honey, please listen. Don’t shut down on the rest of the world. I need you to be happy in your life. You’ve got so much love in your heart; don’t throw it all away because of this. Let yourself love again.”
His eyes filled with tears, “I can’t.”
Her eyes got watery too,
“Please Nick. Please don’t go cold on everyone. If not for me, do it for Aislyn.
She’s going to need you now, more than ever.”
“How am I supposed to take care of her?” he whimpered, “I can’t raise her on my
own, I’ll just screw her up!”
“No you won’t,” she said soothingly.
“Yes I will! What about when she starts kindergarten? Or wants the training wheels
taken off her bike? What if she develops a disorder because I didn’t know
when or when not to put her in time-out?”
“You’ll know, sweetie,” she told him, “It’s all a learning experience, for you and for
her. You love her and I know you’ll do what you think is best for her…that’s all
you need.”
His eyes crinkled and he turned to look directly at her,
“I’m scared.”
She put her arms around him and he hugged her back.
“I’ll always be with you,” she whispered in his ear.
Nick held her tighter for a moment, and then helped her back into bed.
“You never answered me” she said, “Do you promise you’ll let yourself love
again?”
He looked reluctant.
Lauren’s mom knocked, then peeked her head in,
“Is it all right if we come back in?”
“Sure,” Lauren smiled.
Aislyn crept in behind them and looked around nervously. She didn’t like
hospitals.
Nick kneeled down,
“Hey Shortcake!”
Aislyn looked up and smiled. Nick extended his arms out to her. She ran over and
hugged him.
He hugged her back, then picked her up and set her down on the bed next to Lauren. Aislyn and Lauren snuggled up together.
Lauren stroked her daughter’s hair and smiled. Although Aislyn looked a little bit
like her, she was practically a miniature female clone of Nick: from her golden
blonde hair to the shape of her silvery-blue eyes and the way they crinkled, just like Nick’s did, when she got upset.
As far as personalities go, though, she was just like Lauren: soft-spoken, shy, and
very sensitive. Although she did have her defiant moments (like all five-
year-olds do), most of the time she was pretty quiet.
“You’re so beautiful, Aislyn,” Lauren said to her, “Do you know that?”
Aislyn shrugged.
“Inside and out. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. You have such a beautiful heart. You’re so caring towards other people, always so kind to animals. You’ve got
one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen…please don’t ever change that,
okay?”
“Okay Mommy,” Aislyn said solemnly.
“Can you smile for me, sweetie?”
She nodded and gave her a huge smile.
Lauren smiled back,
“That is one of the most powerful things you have. If you’re feeling sad, remember
to smile. It’ll help, believe me.”
Aislyn nodded and laid her head on Lauren’s shoulder. Nick leaned over on the bed
too.
“What do you wanna be when you grow up, Shortcake?” Lauren asked.
Aislyn sat up and faced her and Nick, eyes bright,
“I wanna be a ballerina and an artist and a veter…” she frowned, trying to remember
how to pronounce it.
“Veterinarian?” Nick helped.
“Yeah, a veterinarian…” she thought for a second, “And a baby doctor.”
Lauren blinked back tears,
“You’ll be great at all of those, honey. Always believe in yourself and your dreams.
You can do anything you want in your life…just make sure your heart’s in the right place.”
“Yes Mommy.”
“Daddy and I have a little surprise for you,” she said, smiling at Nick.
He reached under the bed and pulled out a small stuffed whale. He handed it to Lauren, who in turn, handed it to Aislyn.
“Thank you,” Aislyn grinned, hugging it.
Lauren’s parents watched, smiling.
“You’re welcome sweetie. His name is Whaley and he’s a special whale. If you ever
feel lonely or scared, give Whaley a big hug and you’ll start to feel better,
okay?”
Aislyn nodded, hugging Whaley tightly.
They were all quiet for a minute.
Aislyn looked down at Whaley then up at Lauren, her lower lip trembling,
“I’m gonna miss you Mommy.”
Tears began running down Lauren’s face. She never thought she’d hear her daughter
say that to her,
“I’m gonna miss you too, sweetheart. But I’ll always be right here in your heart. I
love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she put her arms around her.
Lauren’s parents got up and walked over. It seemed like a moment where they
should say something too. They each gave her a hug.
“We’re so proud of you, Lauren,” her mom, Nancy said, trying not to cry, “We love
you so much.”
Her dad, George, nodded in agreement,
“Even if there were times it didn’t seem like it, we’ve always loved you and no
matter what choices you’ve made, you’ve always made us proud. No matter
what.”
”Thanks,” Lauren said weakly, feeling tired, “I love you guys too.”
Nick and Aislyn snuggled closer to her.
“I think I’m gonna go to sleep now” Lauren whispered.
Her parents moved their chairs next to her bed.
Nick got a deep sinking feeling in his stomach. His throat tightened and he clung
onto Lauren more fearfully. He quietly began crying.
Lauren brushed her hand through his hair and kissed his forehead, then did the same
with Aislyn. She softly began to sing her favorite part of ‘Come What May’:
“And there’s no mountain too high, no river too wide. Sing out this song and I’ll be
there by your side. Storm clouds may gather and the stars may collide…but I’ll love you” she looked at Nick, “I’ll love you” she looked at Aislyn, “Until the end of
time…”
Rhapsody took that as her cue and walked into the room.
Nick watched Lauren as her eyes started closing, his own eyes glistening with
tears,
“I love you,” he whispered, then gently kissed her lips.
Rhapsody waited until everyone was asleep. Then, she walked over to Lauren’s
bedside and touched her forehead,
“Oh Lauren,” she sang, “It’s time to go now. All your pain is gone.”
Lauren’s eyes fluttered open and she found herself looking up at a woman with long,
dark hair and a white, flowing gown, smiling warmly at her.
“Who are you?” Lauren asked wearily.
“I’m Rhapsody. Come with me,” she said, extending her hand to her. She helped her
out of bed, then Lauren followed her into the hallway.
“Did you give me something while I was sleeping?” Lauren asked, “I feel
amazing.”
“There’s a reason for that,” Rhapsody pointed for her to look through the window of
her hospital room.
Lauren looked through the window and gasped. Her now-lifeless body was still
lying in the hospital bed.
“I’m dead?”
“You’re an angel now,” Rhapsody said gently.
“Shouldn’t I be upset? Because I’ve left everyone I loved?”
“Being upset is a human emotion,” she replied.
“What about love? Isn’t that a human emotion?”
“Oh no,” Rhapsody chuckled softly, “Love is the one emotion that is truly
universal.”
“Good,” Lauren smiled, “I didn’t wanna get in trouble for still loving people.”
“Not to worry,” Rhapsody grinned, “Not that you could anyway.”
They began walking down the hallway.
“When are they gonna find out?” Lauren asked.
“In approximately eleven minutes.”
“Will I ever get to see them again?”
“All in due time. I’ll eventually explain everything to you. But to answer your question, yes, you will see them again very soon.”
Lauren looked over at Rhapsody as they continued walking,
“There’s something very familiar about you, but I can’t put my finger on it.”
Rhapsody smiled,
“Perhaps I resemble a certain friend of your’s?”
Lauren stared at her for a second, then it dawned on her,
“Chiara…you look like Chiara!” Chiara had been Lauren’s best friend since elementary school.
“That’s right. I was her twin.”
”I remember that,” Lauren said, “She said that her twin died during the birth…that was you?!”
“Yep. Granted, we were fraternal, not identical. I would’ve been a lefty.”
“So are you her guardian angel now?”
“No. I’m your’s. Why do you think I was waiting for you?”
“But that doesn’t make any sense. Why me?”
“You’ll find out eventually.”
“I wish you’d stop using that word.”
Rhapsody laughed,
“Get used to it. Before we go any further, I have a question to ask you.”
“Okay…”
“When you were in that hospital bed, right before you died, what was your biggest fear?”
“My biggest fear?”
“Yeah. Most people say that their biggest fear is dying. We’re supposed to ask our rookie angels so they can see that all their fear is gone. After all, if your biggest fear was dying and you’ve just been through it, what’s left to fear?”
Lauren shook her head,
“That wasn’t my biggest fear. I knew I was dying. I learned to accept it.”
“Then what was your biggest fear?”
“My biggest fear was what would happen to Nick and Aislyn once I was gone…”
