Nick pressed power and set the remote down. After Ginger had left, he and Aislyn
had spent the night watching tv. Aislyn had fallen asleep a few hours before dawn.
Nick hadn’t, though. Sleep didn’t seem to be an option for him at this point.
He looked around the living room warily, as if he didn’t recognize it anymore.
The reality of Lauren not being there hadn’t fully sunk in yet.
Of course, she had been there the whole night. She hadn’t done much
though—just made sure that Nick didn’t accidentally flip to a program that was inappropriate for Aislyn. Judging by the frame of mind he was in now, she figured
it would be pointless to convince him to get some sleep.
Nick looked down at his clothes. He hadn’t changed since he got back from the funeral. Granted, he had taken off his suit coat, but that was it.
Aislyn curled up even tighter than she already was in her little corner of the couch.
Nick softly ran his hand through her hair with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
Even though it wasn’t his first time taking care of her by himself, it felt like it was. It was easier before when he knew that Lauren was coming home from the
hospital.
That wasn’t the case now.
He found a blanket and covered her up.
Lauren followed him as he wandered aimlessly around the house, his hands
burrowed deep in his pockets. Every room he went into held a fresh batch of
painful memories that he wasn’t ready to face yet.
Before either he or Lauren knew it, he was standing outside their bedroom door.
He hadn’t been in there since the funeral.
He held the door handle as his eyes welled up,
“C’mon,” he scolded himself, “Just go in.”
Lauren hugged him from behind. She could feel his body shaking, his heart racing.
She ran her hands down his arms,
“If you’re not ready, don’t go in,” she whispered, “No one’s forcing you.”
His hand dropped from the handle. He gripped both sides of the doorframe and pushed his head up against the door.
“Daddy?”
Nick quickly turned around to see Aislyn standing there.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Thinking,” he replied.
“About Mommy?” she asked solemnly.
He moved away from the door,
“How’d you sleep last night?”
“Fine.”
At that moment, the phone started ringing. Nick ran past her and went down the stairs. He grabbed the phone,
“Hello?”
Aislyn timidly sat on the bottom stair and watched.
“Dad, we’re fine. Aislyn just woke up…Yeah, she slept well…we don’t need to talk about that. No we don’t…Wouldja just listen to me? I know what I’m doing. Look,
I got another call comin’ through; I’ll call ya back. Okay, bye.” Nick clicked over, “Hello?”
Lauren shook her head.
“Mrs. Parker? Did you guys take a night flight or somethin’?” he kept talking to
her.
His cell phone started ringing on the kitchen counter.
Aislyn jumped up, ran into the kitchen, and climbed up on a stool next to the counter. She picked up the cell,
“Hello?”
“Aislyn!” Nick hissed, waving at her not to answer.
Too late.
“Just a sec,” she brought the phone over and held it up to him, “It’s Uncle
Rok.”
“Tell him to hold on, I’m on the other phone,” he whispered, then raised his voice back to normal, “What? Sorry, I was talking to Aislyn, what were you saying?”
Aislyn put the phone to her ear,
“Daddy’s on the other phone…Okay…We slept on the couch last night. I don’t know…uh-uh. Nope. Here’s Daddy,” she handed it to Nick and he gave her the other phone,
“Grandma Parker wants to talk to you,” he took the cell, “Whaddup Bri.”
“Hi Grandma,” Aislyn said.
Lauren giggled. This was actually pretty amusing.
“Okay. We will. Love you too. Bye,” Aislyn hung up, “Grandma says that we should have breakfast now.” She opened a cabinet and stood on the shelf inside it.
She couldn’t quite get up to the counter, so Lauren gave her a tiny boost.
Nick looked up just in time to see Aislyn standing on top of the counter, reaching to
get a box of cereal down, “Hey, get down from there!”
“It’s okay Nicky, I got ‘er,” Lauren snickered. She put her hands on Aislyn’s waist
as she climbed down.
“Thanks Brian, I appreciate it. I’ll talk to ya later. Yep,” he hung up and gave Aislyn
a look, “You know better.”
She pouted,
“I was just getting breakfast.”
Nick tried not to smile,
“Well, thanks,” he got her special sparkly bowl down and poured some cereal in it.
He went over to the fridge to get the milk out and the phone rang again. He set the milk on the counter and answered,
“Yeah? Oh hey, Angel. Where are you calling from? Wow, already?” he poured the milk on Aislyn’s cereal, then handed it to her, “Yeah, we all love layovers.”
“Thank you,” she brought it over to the table, and then went to get a spoon.
Nick nodded,
“We’re okay. Just getting some breakfast. Okay, have fun. Yeah right. See ya,” he hung up.
He sat down at the table, looked at Aislyn, then buried his head in his arms. She giggled and took a big bite of her cereal.
Right then, both phones rang simultaneously.
“Unbelievable,” Nick got up and answered one, “Hello? Hang on.” He picked up
the other phone, “Hello? Just a sec,” he switched again, “Kev, can I call ya back?
My agent’s on the other line…thanks, bye.”
He picked up the other phone,
“Okay, I’m back…what? No, I don’t wanna talk about that right now…especially not in front of my daughter…No. This is something you take up with Jive.
Not my problem, buddy…well then, I guess you’re gonna have to live with it,” he hung up.
Aislyn looked up at him with big eyes,
“What’s the matter, Daddy?”
“Too many phone calls,” he replied, turning his cell phone off. He set the answering machine to automatically kick in, “Wanna go down to the ocean?”
He didn’t have to ask her twice. She ran up to her room to get changed.
***
They walked along the coastline, water splashing up against their ankles.
“ ‘Member when me, you, and Mommy were here and every time a big wave came, we hugged each other and jumped in it?” Aislyn asked, bending over to pick up a
shell.
“Yeah,” Nick looked up at the sky. It was gray and cloudy. “What kinda shell do ya got there?”
She showed him. It was a peach-colored conch.
“Pretty.”
Lauren smiled. Aislyn was about as obsessed with shells as Nick used to be with video games.
Aislyn put the shell carefully into her pocket and waded out a little further,
“What do you think heaven’s like?”
“I don’t know,” he answered in a dull voice.
“Is there an ocean in heaven?” she asked, “Mommy loved the ocean.”
“I wouldn’t know Ais, I’ve never been there.”
She looked wounded.
“I’m gonna go look for more shells over there,” she pointed a few yards down the coast.
“Okay.”
“She just wanted to talk to you,” Lauren said to Nick, “She’s hurting as much as
you are.”
Nick found a dry patch of sand and sat down. Lauren went after Aislyn to make
sure that she didn’t wade out too far.
Nick pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on top of them. He almost wished that he hadn’t turned his cell off. At least with the phones ringing, he didn’t have to think about Lauren.
He thought back to a conversation that he had with Ginger a few days prior…
Nick sat in a chair, his eyes red.
Ginger sat down next to him,
“I’m so sorry…I feel like this is my fault.”
“You didn’t give ‘er the lymphoma, Ginj.”
“Yeah I know, but I was the one who introduced you guys…”
Nick squinted at her,
“You wish I never met her.”
Ginger shrugged helplessly,
“I wasn’t around when you and our other sibs were kids. Once we got back in touch, I wanted to be the big sister you hadn’t had and look out for you. Now I think you’re gonna look back on this and feel nothing but regret. Regret because I convinced you to come to that work party.”
Nick shook his head,
“I have regrets. Everyone does. I regret that Lauren got cancer and that there was nothing I could do to save her. But I don’t regret meeting her. She came into my life right when I needed her to…”
Eight years ago…
“Tell me why I’m here again,” Nick said, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Because your big sis got a sweet-ass promotion and you are so incredibly proud of her,” Ginger playfully tousled his hair.
“Hey, watch it!” he ducked away from her and smoothed his hair out. He surveyed her backyard, “Am I the youngest one here?”
“Just about,” Ginger answered, “And so you know…you’re getting fixed up.”
“Uh…no I’m not.”
“C’mon! You haven’t even met her, she’s really sweet.”
“Yeah, I know those ‘really sweet’ types. I see them on tour all the time: acne,
glasses, and stringy hair. Oh, but they’ve got great personalities!”
She shoved his shoulder,
“Don’t be such a pop star, jack-ass. Just humor me and go talk to her. I’m not
asking you to marry her, just go be the gentleman I know is buried inside of you somewhere.”
“You’re wasting your time.”
“So are you. She’s right over there,” she pointed. “I’ll walk you over.”
Nick scowled and followed her.
As they approached the group of women that Ginger had pointed out, he immediately spotted the one she was setting him up with. Big curly hair and glasses that were even thicker. Great.
“Hey girls,” Ginger greeted them, “I wanted to introduce you to the one family member that showed up tonight. Cammie, Lauren, Maggie—this is my brother,
Nick. Nick—these three stooges are my co-workers.”
The girls giggled.
“Nice to meet you,” he shook each of their hands.
They all stared at each other expectantly.
“Well, I guess that’s our cue!” the curly-haired glasses one laughed. She, Ginger, and Maggie left.
Trying to be discreet, Nick gave the remaining girl the once-over. Not bad at all.
He had to give Ginger credit.
“Uh…Lauren, right?” he smiled.
“Yeah,” she replied, looking slightly amused at his attempt to ‘play it cool.’
“Would you like something to drink?”
She held up her half-full wine glass, “Thanks, though.”
He nodded.
They both stood there. Finally, Nick said,
“I gotta tell you, I’m not in a position to be doin’ this. I have a girlfriend.”
“Really.”
“Yeah. Well…sort of. We’re just not…I mean, she hasn’t…” he stopped and shook his head, “It’s hard to explain. But I do have one. Ginger doesn’t like her, so that’s why she’s trying to fix me up.”
“I see,” Lauren smiled. “Well, that’s okay. I really wasn’t in the mood to be set up either.”
“Cool. So what do you do?”
“I’m a copy editor, at the opposite end of your sister on the publishing ladder,” she giggled.
“Rookie?”
“Yeah, I just got my degree last spring. How ‘bout you? Europe still treating you right?”
Nick rolled his eyes,
“Ginger talks too much.”
“Aw, she’s proud of you. You’ve actually had a couple songs here, right?”
“Yeah. Jive says we’re gonna beef up on our US promotions pretty soon cuz we have this fast track over in Europe that’s doing awesome and…” he trailed off and shrugged. “Whatever. No work talk on my days off.”
She nodded,
“I understand. You know, I really didn’t think you and your sister looked that much alike, but now I think I see it in your eyes,” she briefly touched the side of his face by his eyes.
“We’re only half brother and sister. We have the same dad.” Nick replied, enjoying the attention.
“That explains it. I should probably be heading out now.”
“Something I said?”
She giggled,
“No. I gotta get up early. Do you live out here?”
“I live in Tampa. But all my family’s out here, so I come up a lot.”
“I’ll see ya around then,” Lauren smiled.
“Yeah, definitely.”
She started walking away, then turned around,
“By the way…hope everything works out with your girlfriend.”
Nick shook his head rapidly, trying to snap out of it. It was starting to rain.
